Feeling Like a Bad Mom? Four Tips to Help You Change Your Perspective

The laundry is piling up.

The sink is full of dishes.

The kids are in desperate need of a bath after smashing spaghetti all over their faces. (How many bites actually got in their mouths anyway?)

They’ve already had two flights, and you’ve yelled both times.

One didn’t stop playing in time to make it to the bathroom, and… you yelled again.

You check the time. It’s only noon. You wonder why today seems to be the.longest.day.EVER.

From one mom to another, I know how easy it is to slip into reaction mode as a parent and lose your perspective in the daily drama.

Whether you have little ones or teens, sometimes the day-to-day routines of motherhood can seem to swallow you whole, leaving you feeling like you’re drowning in diapers, meltdowns, or door slams, and you can’t remember why you signed up for this.

Parenting is filled with so many incredible moments that make every hard day worth it, but on those days when the kids just won’t go to bed or your teenager has refused to talk to you again, it can be hard to remember the beautiful moments of parenthood.

If you’re at that point right now, know this: You’re not a bad mom.

Take your eyes off of the day-to-day highs and lows, and focus on the big picture.

What kind of children do you want to raise?
What kind of family do you want to have?
What do you want your children to be like 10, 15, or 30 years from now?

Keep that vision in front of you!

The effort and decisions you’re making today will reward you later in big ways.

When you remember what you’re working for—the vision you want to see tomorrow— It’s easier to stay calm and not to react to the daily drama.

Here are four tips to help you change your perspective:

 

1. Pray.

“Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire?”

—Corrie Ten Boom

Prayer is a powerful weapon. It has the ability to break through difficult circumstances and emotions in our lives. Prayer reminds us to rely on God’s grace rather than on our strength. Find moments throughout your day to talk to God and infuse His power into your circumstances!

 

2. Remind yourself, “This too shall pass.”

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”

—William James

Remind yourself this isn’t your forever. It’s just a season! Laugh your way through the hard days, and cherish the good ones for the blessing they are. Be present with your young children when they want to do something with you. Take the time to cherish their young voices, limitless imagination, and little laughs.

Enjoy every part of the season you’re in for what it is. You can do it! When your kids are grown up, you may wish you could go back!

It’s sticking to the commitment when we don’t always see the outcome that makes it worthwhile.

 

3. Pay attention to your thoughts.

“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t—you’re right.”

—Henry Ford

The enemy wants you to focus on the dishes piling up, the fighting over toys, or how you feel like you never have a minute to yourself. Measure your thoughts against the Word of God. Do they line up?

“Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts” (Proverbs 4:23, GNT).

 

4. Remember, your attitude is a choice.

Make the choice to rejoice!

Don’t get discouraged with your children or with yourself. Do your best to keep an attitude of joy and gratitude and to keep a godly perspective.

You have the grace to be an incredible mom.
Rely on God and do it in His ability, not your own.

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it” (Proverbs 22:6, NIV).

Keep fighting the good fight for your family. The reward far outweighs the cost.