How to Keep Insecurity from Silencing You
Insecurity is a silent voice that likes to hold us back. It tells us what to do, what to think, and how to feel about ourselves and the people we love. If it goes unchecked, insecurity can be a prison around us! Thoughts of insecurity and shame can haunt us.
Do they think I’m weird?
Am I good enough?
Am I loveable?
Am I pretty enough?
Am I a failure?
If these thoughts are swelling in our minds, our perception of reality can actually be changed by these thoughts!
When we tolerate insecurities, we start bouncing our identities off of the people and media around us, looking for something to confirm or deny our inner fears…
Did anyone compliment my outfit today? Am I as pretty as that movie star? Did she say she was busy because she didn’t want to hang out with me?
Satan will put people, media, and situations in our lives to discourage us and feed those insecurities.
“The reason why we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”
—Steven Furtick
Insecurities can cause us to:
- Use manipulation to get attention and affirmation
- Become easily offended and overreact to situations
- Battle depression, fear, and hopelessness
- Withdraw from the people we love
- Beat ourselves up over small mistakes
- Give up on ourselves
- Become possessive of the people we love
Friend, insecurity will set you up for an emotional roller coaster!
If we tolerate insecurity, it’s like a weed that chokes out our hope, happiness, and trust in the people around us.
When we water insecurity, it grows!
The Word Is Your Protection
“You’re going to fail.”
“Why even try?”
“You always mess everything up.”
Have you ever let the voices of fear and shame hold you back?
I have, too many times. If you throw rejection into the mix, you’re practically reading my old resume!
In the beginning of my ministry days, a radio station invited me to share at a women’s conference. As this was my first invite of this kind, I was nervous, excited, and eager to do a great job for the station.
One Sunday after church, a woman in our church approached me with some “encouraging” words beforehand––the kind of encouragement that’s wrapped in criticism. “I’ve heard everything you have to say, so I wasn’t planning on attending the conference,“ she said, then continued, “I decided God may want to use me there, so I decided to go.”
Ouch.
We made small talk for a little while longer and then ended the conversation, but one sentence kept repeating in my head: “I’ve heard everything you have to say.”
Fear. Shame. Rejection. The alarm bells were ringing inside my head. What was I going to talk about? Had everyone heard it all before?
I started to believe that my understanding and skills were so limited that I shouldn’t be in the position to speak. My confidence melted away until all I felt was a hopeless, sinking feeling.
“Who do you think you are anyway?”
“You’re going to embarrass yourself in front of everyone.”
I let those words replay over and over as the conference approached. I became focused on her evaluation instead of on the opportunity God had given me. I felt I had a message for these women, yet I was greatly hindered and fought feelings of fear and inadequacy mixed with offense. There was a tug-of-war going on inside me! I was torn––insecurity and anxiety were winning over my desire to obey God by helping people.
Those pesky, self-debilitating thoughts kept trying to steal my joy. That’s when I made a decision––every time I started to have those thoughts, I was going to seek God immediately.
The day of the women’s event finally came, and I climbed onto that stage confidently. I delivered the message God gave me, and at the end, guess who came down to the altar in tears? The woman who said those things!
It took me some time to discover I was not wrestling with flesh and blood, but rather with powers and principalities that wanted to stop me (and this woman) from being obedient to God. I realized that if Satan could get me to become self-conscious and performance-driven, I would continuously be defeated and held back by the enemy’s attacks.
“I sought the Lord, and he answered me; He delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.”
Psalm 34 promises us that those who seek God will be radiant, delivered from fear, and never covered in shame. When fear, shame, and rejection try to rise up against us, our protection is in the Word of God!
When Insecurity Knocks
So what do you do when insecurity comes knocking at your door?
1. PRAY.
First, we are instructed to pray. If we feel insecurity trying to grab hold of us, we need to turn to God and ask Him for help in our situation. We need to pray for the grace to walk in confidence.
Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV) say, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
2. Change what you’re looking at.
If you are battling insecurity, you need to shut down the voices and images speaking that into your life. If you feel bad about your body or looks, stop spending hours browsing through photos of Instagram models and movie stars in tabloid magazines. Start putting your focus on things that are going to encourage you instead!
When negative thoughts start to rise up in you, challenge them with the Word of God.
All of your thoughts, actions, and reactions originate from your belief system––what you believe about yourself, your worth, and your future. Start thinking God’s thoughts about yourself!
Psalm 139:14 says, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
God put great thought into every detail of your being, and it grieves Him when you find fault with His creation. God’s love for you is perfect, and He sees the potential He’s put in you. You were created with a purpose. You were fearfully and wonderfully made. God made you, and He doesn’t make mistakes!
