What’s Really Missing?
If only I had a romantic life.
Who hasn’t watched a romantic movie and thought that?
But Hollywood isn’t real life, and romance stories can never accurately portray the lifetime journey, commitment, and sacrifices of a lasting lifetime marriage relationship.
At the movies, in less than two hours, it appears that everything works into a perfectly crafted romantic relationship. The reality is, it takes a lifetime of growing, changing, and becoming one in marriage.
Don’t let a Hollywood portrayal make you feel something is missing in your marriage.
What is really missing in the movie version is the time, commitment, and work that make a relationship thrive. It takes more than a chick flick can possibly reflect to build a great marriage, and the good news is your love can last much longer than a Hollywood romance.
When it comes to the downfall of marriages, there’s a lot of blame to be handed out to all parties. For instance, we have a man problem in America. From generations before us that dropped the ball, we now have a large group of next generation men still living in their parents’ basements, afraid of responsibility.
Our culture makes men out to be stupid and ignorant. A great deal of the problems with men giving up on their destinies starts with the lack of respect they are given in the culture, and yes, from women.
During the feminist movement, when men lost their place as the leaders in the workplace, women adopted the mindset, “Anything you can do, I can do better.” Women started tearing down men and trying to elevate themselves instead. Along with that mentality, the culture created the persona that men were naive and ignorant. The media still has an anti-male movement, which is strategic and dangerous to the family system. Satan does not want men rising up and leading their families. A house divided cannot stand.
Respect is a large part of my relationship with Gary. I respect the pressures upon him to provide, protect, lead, and love our family and me. He understands that I need reassurance of his love through verbal communication and time where he is focused on me and the family. I want the security of his love for life, and he needs to know that I am always there for him and I respect him. It’s very comforting and reassuring to us both as we face outside pressures and dream about and create the future together. No ambition or desire takes the place of our first commitment to love each other.
More than anything, men need respect from their wife. Typically, we meet someone we respect and think we would like to have their love and commitment, but once we have it, we tend to disrespect them if we don’t get what we want.
I feel unloved by him. I’ll punish him with my words and by withholding sexual intimacy to show him how unhappy I am with him.
That’s dangerous and a good a way to destroy your marriage.
Your man needs you to be a supportive friend. He needs you to be a wife who builds him up, believes in him, and foremost, respects him.
Sometimes this process takes faith. The rewards of the Lord are about staying in the process! It’s not always easy, but we’re placing our trust not just in our mate, but also in God and His plan. The joys of inheriting the promises of God together are worth it.
When men don’t receive respect, they lose hope in themselves. Grown men around the world need to hear the same message your mom once told you: “You can do better than this. I believe in you.” What we need is a “pro-men and pro-women working together” movement in our culture. Unity is powerful.
Galatians 5:15 (ESV) warns, “If you continue hurting each other and tearing each other apart, be careful, or you will completely destroy each other.”
Watch for part two of this post next week!
